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Avril Lavigne-Life's Not Complicated

Who's ever heard of the Rubinoos anyway? Nobody who listens to Avril, that's for sure.

In further Avril news, no, the 23-year old and her husband Deryck Whibley are not pregnant. She probably just ate a sandwich, kicking off the rumors. Life's tough being a skinny superstar. But life's even tougher being the husband of a skinny superstar. Avril once said in an interview with Jane magazine that if any Sum 41 fans came after Deryck Whibley, she'd punch them. This statement, among other actual Avril actions, like hocking a loogie on photogrophers, has prompted many people to call Avril a "crazy bitch".

We're torn. We would also probably punch any girl that came onto our hypothetical husband. However if we married a rock star, we'd also be aware that clingy, underwear-throwing, barely-clad, horney pre-teens come with the territory.

Britney’s Suicide Note!

We would want to die, too, if we'd had our hairless privates splashed on international tabloids more than once. We're sorry for the girl, but actions speeak louder than words, and it seems like she's been asking to go to stripper hell for quite a long time.

Take these examples:

Sunday afternoon, Britney went shopping at the Betsey Johnson store in Sherman Oaks with her creepy user pal, Adnan Ghalib. She grabbed a bunch of dresses, then popped back out of the dressing room completely naked.
After a store clerk tried to cover her up with something, she screamed obscenities at the woman, dragged Ghalib into the dressing room and then made strange noises for 45 minutes.
Upon exiting the room, Britney looked ridiculously disgusting--she was all pimply, red, blotchy, with patchy hair and her clothes barely on. And she was muttering obscenities in a British accent.

We can only imagine that she got naked, took drugs, had sex in a dressing room, then left with a deficit of brain cells. What do you think happened?

Rosie O’Donnell- Crazier than Britney?

That's right, the ex-talk show host with a wife and a strange childhood took to the computer to explain how Britney Spears' downward spiral is exactly akin to that of...Princess Diana? Rosie writes: "Not a girl, barely even a woman yet, they chased her. A mob of stalkers for whom no stalking laws have been written. Smother. Crush. Flash. Photo Credit. Even Dr. "Get Real" Phil got in on the action. Unreal." Continuing, "The tunnel is crowded now. There are only inches of separation between vulnerability and disaster."

Does fortune-teller Rosie foresee a car crash in Britney's future? Maybe they got the wrong woman in the psych ward.

In fact, an online Parade Magazine poll named O'Donnell was named "The Most Annoying Celebrity of 2007". So being annoying doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy. But when you win this award for doing things like suggesting we melt all of the toilets in the Vatican, presumably made of gold, and use the gold gobs to pay off lawsuits against pedophilic priests, and you do this on national television, then you're getting there.

Actually, it's not a bad idea. Keep the crazy suggestions coming, honey. We can't wait to hear what you come up with next!

Katie Holmes is a Stepford Wife

We want the old Dawson's Creek Katie back. The one who wouldn't lie about her daughter sleeping a perfect 10 hours every night, and who didn't dress like a cyborg. Is that too much to ask?

As if we needed more proof that she's been sucked into a psycho cult, Tom Cruise's Scientology video, in which he preaches like an eerily brainwashed freak, appeared on the internet recently. If you ever had any doubt that the couch jumping mini-man had flipped his lid, this will prove it. In fact, it almost looks like an audition tape for a freaky sci-fi movie about brain replacement. Maybe he's overcompensating for his short-man syndrome by becoming the world's leading practitioner of fake religion? That seems like a logical way to draw attention from his slight stature.

Oprah Taking Over the World

Called OWN for the Oprah Winfrey Network (again, can we ask for a little originality?), the network will be part of the Discover network,taking over the apparently not-good-enough Discovery Health Channel and
its 67.7 million viewers. America's health will now be advised by an
overweight woman who will share celebrity gossip tips, chick lit, and
make you cry. Because sometimes it's healthy to just let it all out.

In case you're curious, the deal was a cashless transaction; Oprah and gang will be responsible for the programming, creative vision and branding, while Discovery Communications will give her their Health Channel, distribution, and operational requirements. In other words, she's the heart, they're the parts.

So what will we see when OWN takes over the universe? Let's take a looksee at what she's already got: The Oprah Winfrey Show, "O" Magazine, the Oprah and Friends XM Sattelite Radio show, and a TV and movie production company. OWN will surely combine all of these things, then broadcast the mogul into parallel universes, so when we finally discover them, Oprah will already OWN everything. Get it?

British Pop Princess Lily Allen Suffers a Miscarriage

It is widely known, however, that by the age of 15, Allen was trying to make money selling ecstasy. And her weight loss, whatever the reason behind it, allowed her to get more endorsement deals.
We have to admit, we like the girl. She’s a crazy person, much like fellow Brit, Amy Winehouse.

Lily Allen is not afraid to speak her mind, and usually the consequences are pretty amusing. Like when she publicly stated that everyone who bought Paris Hilton’s debut album should be killed off. We’re inclined to agree. Or when she called President Bush “A f-ing cunt” (with full use of the “F” word). We’re inclined to agree with that statement, too.

Lily Allen turned down an offer to launch her own line of maternity wear when she got pregnant. She didn’t think she was setting a good example for young girls. She was, however, super excited about becoming a mom and the pregnancy was said to give her a new outlook on life.

Lily Allen

Britney Spears Getting Psychiatric Help

Why would Barbara Walters air anything Osama Lutfi has to say about Britney Spears like he’s a credible source of information? He’s a freak with a shady past. In fact, he has 2 restraining orders against him for violent physical and verbal attacks. And Barbara Walters said he was a nice guy. Sheesh.
What exactly is being treated here? Sure, you can treat all sorts of mental problems, but are they curable? Maybe treatment is just staving off an inevitable suicide and/or 2nd coming of the bald Britney. Is she bipolar? Does she have multiple personalities? These conclusions have been reached in the past, but Barbara’s spotty reporting left a big question unanswered: What is Britney being treated for?

Osama Lutfi was dropped from Brit Brit’s entourage late last year. She was done playing with him, and replaced him with Adnan Ghalib. Then in an attempt to get back into the spotlight, Lutfi reported last week that Spears had taken out a restraining order on Ghalib. Now Brithey has been spending time with Lutfi. She sure sucks at choosing friends.

Heath Ledger Found Dead in NYC Apartment at 28 Years Old

He met Michelle Williams in 2004 on the set of “Brokeback Mountain”. The two soon moved in together and had a daughter, Matilda. They split up last year after a 3-year relationship. The split was said to be amicable, and Heath Ledger often called Michelle “the perfect mom”. Promotion of “Brokeback Mountain” began only 3 weeks after Matilda was born, which Michelle believed to be too soon.

Heath Ledger was also known for his roles in films like “I’m Not There”, in which he played one of the many incarnations of Bob Dylan, “A Knight’s Tale”, “The Patriot”, and “Monster’s Ball”, in which he played Billy Bob Thornton’s suicidal son. Perhaps the film that put him on the map in American cinema, and planted him firmly in the hearts of teenaged girls everywhere, was “10 Things I Hate About You”, a teen comedy that reworked Shakespeare’s “The Taming of the Shrew”.

Not one to have his name splashed about tabloids, except in conjunction with the release of a film, Heath Ledger seemed to live a quiet existence for a young Hollywood star. Soon, though, we’ll be finding out about his demons. RIP.

Mary Kate Olsen Last Girl to Date Heath Ledger?

Mary Kate Olsen and Heath Ledger’s relationship was rumored to be non-exclusive. It was simply based on a love of partying—and the two seemed to love to party at the same places in Manhattan. Simple enough. The two would share some drinks, hook up. Not much more. But their friendship was obviously strong enough to catch the eyes of Heath’s masseuse. How else would she have known to call Mary Kate Olsen, of all people, upon finding Heath unconscious? After dialing Mary Kate, Teresa Solomon then dialed 911. By the time the paramedics arrived, they could not revive the young star.

Bill Clinton Dishes Out Gay Love

Gay softball tournaments have been going strong for several years now. In fact, each year leagues in cities across the nation bid to host the Gay Softball World Series (GSWS). This year, it will be in August in Seattle. According to the website, “with over 4,000 participants and fans from 56 cities in North America, NAGAAA’s Gay Softball World Series (GSWS) is the world’s largest annual Gay and Lesbian sporting event.” Guess those guys Bill Clinton ran in to were starting practice early to get a leg up on the other men.

Madonna Richest Woman in Music

Lagging behind Madonna in Forbes.com’s list of the top 20 “Cash Queens of Music” by $12 million is none other than Barbara Streisand. The 65-year old is obviously still idolized by more than just gay men. Rounding out the top 3 top earners is Celine Dion, who took in $45 million, mostly from her Vegas show, “A New Day”. Is it just us, or are older women dominating entertainment lately? These top-3 performers are all over 40! (Well, Celine will be 40 in March.) Maybe people are indulging a need to feel comfortable with what’s tried and true? Rounding out the top 5 were Shakira, with $38 million, and Beyoncé, with $27 million. Britney Spears ranked 14th with $8 million.

Britney Spears Committed, Again

When Britney Spears arrived at the UCLA Medical Center this morning, her second stay in a month, she admitted to medical staff that she was on the ADD medication Adderall (like prescription cocaine!) and was taking up to ten laxatives a day. Her parents, both Jamie and Lynne, joined her in the hospital, trying to keep Sam Lutfi, Spears’ most recent “manager” away. When this is all over, Lynne Spears has a plan to take Britney back to Louisiana, her home state. She thinks Britney’s Los Angeles circle of friends are detrimental to her health. No shiat, Sherlock! But if Britney truly is a mental case, and we think she is at this point, it doesn’t matter where she is—she needs intensive 24/7 psychiatric care in a rehab facility to put her straight again. And lay off of the laxatives, Britney! They’re not going to make you thinner.

Hillary Clinton is Hilarious!

A FOX News poll released today said that Hilary Clinton is seen as the candidate most prepared to begin leading the country on “day one”. Unfortunately the same poll also claimed Hillary is seen by potential voters as the most likely to do anything to win—including something unethical. John McCain is currently leading the Republicans at 48 percent—that’s twice what Mitt Romney is pulling. Clinton is closer in her race with Barack Obama at 47 percent to Obama’s 37 percent. Perhaps it’ll be Hillary Clinton vs. John McCain? We like them both.

Jay-Z’s 40/40 Club’s 99+ Problems

Jay-Z, rap entrepreneur, opened his $20 million night club, 40/40 in Vegas in late December 2007. But it seems the curse of his past 40/40 clubs is catching up with him. His first club, opened in New York City in 2003, got Jay-Z slapped with a lawsuit for not properly paying his employees. He’s also been slapped with a lawsuit by music royalty distributor, BMI, for "unauthorized public performance of musical compositions." Meaning Jay-Z isn’t properly paying other musicians for using their beats in his club. Finally, the new Vegas club seems to be the cherry on top of the pie of 40/40 suckage; an estimated 100 employees have already quit or been fired since the club opened little over a month ago. And only 2 of the club’s original 10 managers are still there. Maybe Jay-Z’s not paying them either? C’mon, man, Beyoncé will take care of you. Give a little!

Amy Winehouse No Go for Grammys

Amy Winehouse may not be allowed to step on American soil for the 50th Grammy Awards ceremony, but that doesn’t mean her presence won’t be felt. Nominated for 6 awards, Amy Winehouse will still perform by satellite at this year’s Grammys. That is, given her rehab clinic is successful at keeping her relatively clean. Winehouse notoriously cancelled a ton of appearances last year due to her drug-inspired erratic behavior. She also had to cancel an appearance at the 2007 MTVU Woodie Awards in November due to Visa issues. And she’s not the only troubled young British songstress that can’t get into the country who’ll make anyone a citizen who can get on its soil. Lilly Allen also got her immigration revoked in September, keeping her from performing at the MTV Video Music Awards. We’re looking forward to Amy Winehouse’s performance on Sunday!

Tony Parker Says Eva Longoria is Not Pregnant

Eva Longoria, the “Desperate Housewives” star who usually has the body of a 12-year old girl, has been looking womanlier lately, and we like it! Too bad for her, being in the public spotlight, she has to fend off pregnancy rumors when she eats a real meal. Her husband, 25-year old NBA champ, Tony Parker, told French newspaper, Le Parisien, that "Eva and I talk about [pregnancy] but with our careers it isn't the right moment." In fact, just a few months ago, Tony Parker had to fend off rumors that he was having an affair with a French model.

The two stars have definitely hit the big time. With a new rumor about one or both of them every month, we wish them luck in their first year of marriage. Stick with it, kids!

Tiny Star Gary Coleman Ties the Knot

Gary Coleman has tied the knot with a woman whom we can only guess to be a mega gold-digger of Anna Nicole proportions. Did he make her sign a pre nup? Maybe there’s nothing to safeguard, as going on the Surreal Life is usually a tell-tale sign that a has-been actor is hard up for cash. Perez Hilton gives the couple 3 months until they split, sighting Gary’s admittance that he and Shannon Price can go a week without talking to each other. She says he gets so angry sometimes he throws stuff at her. What a great relationship! Price sells Gary’s memorabilia on e-Bay.

Kanye West’s “Flashing Lights” Video Graphic

Kanye West never fails to surprise his audience. His new video for the single “Flashing Lights” lives up to his reputation. As rapper Nas said, “The video is f---ing incredible! Nobody wants to be different. .Everybody wants to be the same, and Kanye always comes with some other sh--. He’s not afraid to be different.” Indeed, the video is dirty, sexual, and a little funny all at the same time…that is, if you find death by gross mutilation funny.

What did Kanye West have to say about his vid? “Every piece of the video is me, what I represent now.” We’re still dumbfounded to understand what that means. We suppose he’s all about big-breasted women with a vengeance, and kinky torture.

Paris Hilton’s Film Bombs

Paris Hilton has just hit an all-time career low, with her new film, “The Hottie and the Nottie”. Not only has it been called the “Worst Film of All Time” by IMDB, it also tanked at the box office.

With so many films going straight to DVD these days, including ones with reputable actors who are talented and have brought in box-office bucks, it’s incredible that the film even got the privilege to be shown on a big screen.

Joining Paris Hilton’s flick about a hot chick who won’t date a dude unless he gets her ugly friend a date as well, is the “American Idol” silver screen suckage, “From Justin to Kelly” and “Daddy Day Care”.

Celebrity Sex Tape Scandal

Hong Kong’s 27-year old Edison Chen is a Chinese pop sensation. Girls go ga-ga over his Chinese-Canadian good looks and his mischievous smile. Apparently several Chinese celebrities found him irresistible too, including Gillian Chung, Cecilia Cheung, and Bobo Chan—videos and photos of Chan’s sexploits with these ladies have leaked all over the internet. Chen had a thing for filming and photographing the erotic side of his life. Unlucky for him, the secret footage was taken off of his computer when he brought it in for repair, and now the Chinese mob wants his hands hacked off.

Hong Kong’s entertainment industry has long made bank with its virginal stars—and now their reputations are forever tarnished by these celebrity sex tapes. However, if they cross on over to the US, they will be celebrated as the next up-and-coming celebs and become role models for the children of America.

Will Smith Hates Hitler

Will Smith is one of the most successful, highest paid actors on the planet. It’s no question that Smith was livid when a London-based entertainment newswire service which claims to provide information to more than 1,000 media outlets in 25 countries, accused Smith of saying he thinks the Nazi leader, Hitler, is a good person. Smith took the agency to court, where they agreed to retract the article, and issued an apology. However nobody printed the retraction, leaving the libel “at large,” according to Will Smith’s lawyer, Rachel Atkins. WENN agreed to compensate Smith for his distress. The money will cover his legal fees, and the rest will be donated to charity.

Attack of the Baby Bumps

And in other baby bump news…

Angelina Jolie is pregnant. I know, I know, old news, right. But word is she’s feeling the urge to tie the knot once she delivers. The wedding will be small, most likely in Santa Barbara, France or a Buddhist beach in Asia. Take that, paparazzi!

And finally, in old, old baby bump news: turns out Jamie Lynn Spears was an "uh-oh" baby, (like mother like daughter). Apparently Lynne Spears got pregnant after her husband had a vasectomy. After Jamie Spears said that the baby couldn't be his; Lynne got the baby’s DNA tested and BING! we have a winner. Oh, now I get it. Jamie + Lynne = Jamie Lynn. Sorry, I was never good at math.

Hilton's Guru Date Was a Set Up For New Prank Show

Kutcher and his business partner Jason Goldberg are producing the new program, which highlights the gullibility of the paparazzi and the media and is set to premiere on the "E" Channel Sunday.

Goldberg says, "We live in a culture that's driven by media and obsessed with celebrity, to the point where they don't have private lives anymore.

"Two people going out to eat turns into, 'They're engaged.' It's a feeding frenzy. It's dangerous and it's irresponsible in some cases.

"We're having fun, but we want to say to people, 'Can you really believe everything you read and see?'"

Clooney Not Getting Hitched Any Time Soon

In a report published on its website Monday, Britain's Marie Claire cited a restaurant worker from the town of Laglio, Italy, where Clooney has a villa, who claimed the twosome had secretly gotten engaged.

"They haven't made any announcement yet, but there are people in this town who know more than me," the unnamed worker was quoted as saying. "They say the couple is already engaged."

For now, at least, Clooney is content simply dating Larson, a former Fear Factor winner. The actor, who was married to Talia Balsam from 1989 to 1993, has said in the past that he never intends to marry again.

Sheryl Crow Joining Fleetwood Mac?

Sheryl Crow is planning to join Fleetwood Mac.

"We definitely have plans for collaborating in the future, and we'll see what happens," Crow tells Spinner. As to when fans might hear those collaborations, she says, "I think that's going to be next year."

Very cool news - Rock on Cheryl and Stevie!

Halle Berry Gives Birth to Baby Girl!

The 41-year-old actress had a baby girl Sunday, and "is doing great," her publicist Meredith O'Sullivan told People.com, the website of People magazine. It is her first child.

The father is 32-year-old model Gabriel Aubry. The two met while shooting a Versace ad in Los Angeles two years ago.

Halle Berry had said she and Aubry don't plan to marry, but feel fully committed to each other.

Britney’s Hospital Visit - Peeping Toms

The director of the HR department said that the hospital treats celebrities “all the time and you never hear about this… I don’t know what it is about this particular person, I don’t know what it is about her.”

Richie Sambora DUI

Sambora's 10-year-old daughter, Ava, was reportedly in the car when Sambora was pulled over and according to TMZ the rocker could be charged with child endangerment. In addition to Ava, Sambora's girlfriend and another minor were in the Hummer he was driving.

LA Times Falsely Ties P. Diddy to Tupac Shooting

Chuck Phillips and the LA Times recently apologized for using fake FBI documents given to them by a con man when they published an article implicating Sean "Diddy" Combs in the 1994 beating and shooting of Tupac Shakur. The crime report website The Smoking Gun, which caught the error, claims it was concert promoter James Sabatino, currently in jail for other crimes, who created the fake documents and gave them to the LA Times.

Ledger May Have Fathered A Love Child?

The actor – who died in January at the age of 28, following an accidental overdose of prescription drugs – has a daughter, Matilda, with actress Michelle Williams.

His will, written before Matilda's birth, left his entire estate to his parents and three sisters. Although his father, Kim, has promised Williams and the 2-year-old "will be taken care of," the uncertainty surrounding the will has reignited a family feud between Kim and his three estranged brothers.

Britney: Another Sitcom Appearance?

The CBS sitcom, which has yet to be renewed, had a huge ratings boost the night of Britney's guest appearance and the pop wreck won rave reviews for her performance. "It all depends on her availability," the report says.

Bobby Brown Blasts His Marriage to Whitney Houston

I think we got married for all the wrong reasons. Now, I realize Whitney had a different agenda than I did when we got married ... I believe her agenda was to clean up her image, while mine was to be loved and have children." The New York Post, which printed excerpts from the book on Thursday, also reveals that Bobby alleges Whitney only married him to diffuse rumors that she was bisexual.

Rob Lowe Former Nanny Blackmail?

Lowe first went public with with his story on Monday when he penned a blog on the Huffington Post. "A former employee is demanding my wife Sheryl and I pay her $1.5 million by the end of the week or she will accuse us both of a vicious laundry list of false terribles," blogged Rob, who employed the woman on and off for seven years. "It is an attempt to damage and humiliate not only my wife and me, but our two young sons as well."

Debbie Gibson Restraining Order Against Taxi Driver

Debbie Gibson claimed Puigdollers has attended all of her "nationwide performances" since 2002, where he often tries to go backstage to see her and get autographs. He also follows her to her hotel room, according to court papers.

When Puigdollers came to the front door of the Gibson's Los Angeles home Sunday, the 1980s pop star called police "for fear of my life," she wrote in court documents.

Kanye West Splits With Fiancee

Kanye is really focused on his show; he's putting everything into the show right now. Alexis is a nice girl, but Kanye has been going through a rough time. They hit a rough patch and for now they've split."